23 June, 2010

On Matters of the Heart

I posted on FB this morning,
"Can a heart break and heal in the same moment?"
I do not know if I have an answer for that right now, I guess I will see. My cousin Britney is on life support right now and all though the plan is to let her go and take her off today (I have not heard yet if or when it will happen) I will know once I am there and know she is in a better place. You can read her story on her blog here
I do not have time to recount everything. She has been sick for a year now and it seems finally time to let her go. I feel like I have been saying goodbye for a year and also holding so much hope for a miracle or change. Not seeing that the miracle was her being here with us for a year to say goodbye and the change being her getting sick so that the "letting her go" part will be quick and humane. I loved her like a sister, she helped me at so many points in life I can not count. She knew the right thing to say and when to say it, she was an example of the kind of wife/mother/sibling/daughter/friend I want to be and should be. Britney I know I will see you again and have faith that Heavenly Father has a greater work for you to do and need for you. Please tell Grandpa HI, take care of each other. It will but a moment to you, but will seem like forever to me until we are together again. I will love on your babies and tell them fun stories of you growing up and what a mother you were. Thank you for all you taught me in my life, I hope that I can feel you around me. Wish you were here right now to help me heal .... always in my heart, in my prayers, in my mind ... I love you ...

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